It has been rainy since the day i’m home from the trip to burma.
I’ll talk about burma again. my feelings are even dampened by the rain.
pitter patter, wipsh splash. if the rain could inject some sense in me.
it drenched my bed through the bit of window left open. it should be me, be the one drenched, so probably i’ll be awake and feel.
maybe i should fall asleep for a long while and never wake up. too tired.
i’m sorry i broke my promise Lord. i’m still trying.

I stepped in his fave restaurant. Ordered his fave chicken wings.
While I wait
I took the table we once set.
But it’s an empty seat opposite me.

Everything’s the same but my heart isn’t.
A part of me yearns to go back but I can’t walk on this disillusioned journey.
I have to break free. The wound still hurt, the tear is still fresh.

As quoted from a friend, “there’s nothing that interest me in life”

The final destination for everyone is death. Morbid, yes. That’s the reality.
Even King Solomon had said “Vanity of Vanities…all is Vanity,”

The pursuit of material, worldly possession it’s all wild goose chase in the end. You know you will never be happy even if you have everything you want. You probably want more.

I feel what makes life interesting is not the end result but the process of it. Imagine a symphony of anguish, hopelessness, satisfaction, hiccups. These are the essence to a great masterpiece. Our life masterpiece.

You fall in love, you fall out of love. If you never experience love, how do you love.

Enjoy every moment like it’s gift from God. Love life!

I’m happy for the friends my God has given to me. The friends that I know would be around thru my ups n downs.

Is the wound slowly healing if so why do I still ache so much.

I hope I can put a full stop soon.
A full stop to the end of story not just an end of paragraph.
It was a good conversation with tears and smiles and I’m glad I initiated it.

Only “if only” I may lament.

Guess I’m ready to love again. (soon, I hope)

Many times my fellow Christian friends would testify how God spoke to them. I often wondered will is my turn. I even told him to call, email or Facebook whichever convenient for him.

Thinking back, God indeed spoke to me. Maybe it wasn’t things I wish to hear so in and out it went.

Sins depletes wisdom. I hope I ain’t sliding further.

Dear Lord

I’m sorry for all the things I have done and many times these are things I know are wrong but I went ahead.

I’m afraid of the consequences so Lord give me the determination to overcome it. Please Lord, please do not forsake me. Need you more than ever.

Thank you and Good night.

Me.

Nope. I’m not announcing the closure of my most “well-kept diary” but a chapter of my life. Maybe a chapter worth writing about and hopefully move on.

Late 2010, the scene set in office, my messy workstation. Someone walked over. Someone I met once? Someone whom I probably exchanged some emails with. The impression of him was vague till he took a seat in front of me and started a conversation. Good dress sense, a lil cute too. Definitely deserving a little more attention than the boring monitor. Numbers were exchanged and an invitation to a dinner…  and flutters….

The dinner, the stroll, the kiss…

To be continued.

It has been so long that I couldn’t remember where my blog is sited. First tried Blogspot then Livejournal without any success. What other online blogsite could there be. Finally I found you wordpress.Although it isn’t frequently updated, it is still by far my most accomplished diary thus far.